You're not listening - Summary and Key Ideas

You're Not Listening explores the art of listening and the detrimental effects of losing this skill. The book is an insight into the science behind listening, and how it builds or breaks our relationships. It prompts to reflect on how understanding can be developed through attentively listening to others' expression.

This book is an ideal read for anyone seeking to improve their communications skills and wants to understand the mechanics and importance behind truly listening to others. It's perfect for students, professionals, educators, or simply anyone wanting to improve their personal relationships and gain a deeper understanding of the people around them.

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You're not listening

Key ideas


Modern society risks losing the art of listening, exacerbating loneliness despite technological connectivity.


Listening, an active effort, fosters brain-syncing, empathy, and meaningful human connections.

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Embracing curiosity enhances listening, fosters understanding and enriches life.

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Effective listening unearths the nuances within familiar and unfamiliar relationships.

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Effective listening requires mindfulness and aids in understanding and connection.

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Listening to diverse opinions cultivates growth, fuels creativity, and improves understanding.

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Listening yields deeper insights than data analysis in comprehend consumer desires.

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Effective listening fosters psychological safety, improving teamwork and fostering creativity.

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Attuned listening enhances understanding, requiring sensitivity and self-awareness to discern nuances.

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Our inner voice, shaped by life experiences and literature, drives our perception and decisions.

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Listening, encompassing more than hearing, promotes deeper understanding and connection.

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Digital addiction undermines focus, attention span, conversation and child development.

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Summary & Review

Final Summary: "You're Not Listening" by Kate Murphy is an insightful exploration of modern communication and empathic interaction. The book hammers on the importance of active listening for meaningful relationships and effective communication. Murphy, a seasoned journalist, leverages her experiences and academic research to convey the complexities of listening, and explains the immense value it adds to our personal and professional life. She addresses our society's descent into 'listening mojo' loss and optimistically proposes ways to revitalize this essential skill.

Kate Murphy

Kate Murphy, an American journalist, is known for her bold and insightful reporting. She regularly contributes to The New York Times and covers a wide range of topics. Murphy has a knack for bringing obscure or underreported topics to light and is known for her ability to connect with her interviewees.

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