The Courage to Be Disliked - Summary and Key Ideas

"The Courage to Be Disliked" explores the concept of freedom in interpersonal relationships, emphasizing that real freedom comes with the cost of potentially being disliked by others. It also discusses the importance of having the courage to accept oneself as normal, rather than striving to be special or fearing to be inferior.

The target group for "The Courage to Be Disliked" are individuals seeking personal growth and self-improvement, particularly those struggling with self-acceptance and fear of judgement from others.

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The Courage to Be Disliked

Key ideas


The exploration of Adlerian psychology through a skeptic's dialogue with a philosopher challenges conventional wisdom and holds the potential to transform lives.

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The Teleological View: People are not defined by their past or trauma, but rather by their present goals and the meanings they assign to experiences.

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You have the power to shape your own personality and happiness through present choices and courage.

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Interpersonal relationships are at the core of our experiences and feelings.

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Letting go of the competitive view on life allows for genuine connections, solves conflicts and makes the world a friendlier place.

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Self-acceptance, acknowledging limitations and striving for improvement, is the true path to personal growth.

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Real freedom isn't about pleasing everyone; it's about living according to your own beliefs.

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Shifting from self-centeredness to community focus helps to build authentic, meaningful relationships.

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Find happiness and impact your community by embracing change, balancing work and life, and having the courage to be yourself.

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Life is a dance, not a destination: embrace the present to make each moment a masterpiece.

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Summary & Review

The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga is a philosophical exploration of Alfred Adler's psychology of courage. The book presents a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man, where they discuss Adler's theories and how they can be applied to everyday life. The book emphasizes the importance of courage in achieving happiness and personal freedom, and it challenges conventional wisdom about trauma and interpersonal relationships.

Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

Ichiro Kishimi is a Japanese philosopher and counselor, known for his work in Adlerian psychology. Fumitake Koga is an award-winning professional writer and author of numerous bestselling books.

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