Come Together - Summary and Key Ideas

Come Together explores the science and art of maintaining a lasting sexual connection in long-term relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and academic research, the book offers practical tools and guidance for achieving great sex and navigating common relationship challenges.

This book is aimed at individuals in long-term relationships who seek a deeper understanding of how to build and sustain sexual connections over time. It also appeals to those wanting to prepare for future relationships by learning how to nurture lasting intimacy and pleasure.

Buy the book
Come Together

Key ideas


Emily Nagoski's book offers tools for sustaining sexual connections in relationships.


Understanding desires and contexts enhances sex, bolstering pleasure and connection.

Play in App

Measure sexual wellbeing by shared pleasure, not spontaneous desire, for longevity.

Play in App

Mapping emotional spaces helps navigate between pleasure and adversity beneficially.

Play in App

Understanding each other's emotional floorplans helps couples cooperate, rather than blame each other for desire struggles.

Play in App

Sex positivity embraces confidence, joy, and the ongoing healing cycle.

Play in App

Admiration and trust are vital for enduring, deep relationships.

Play in App

With calm, warm curiosity about our changing bodies and experiences, we can adapt and find new ways to give and receive pleasure.

Play in App

Nurture gradual relationship growth; empathize, heal gently, and always choose love.

Play in App

Sex imperatives impose restrictive standards, limiting authentic sexual expression and pleasure.

Play in App

Authenticity dismantles gender norms, enabling true self-discovery and connection.

Play in App

Recognize rigid gender roles as the enemy, not your partner.

Play in App
Get the App
Access all 15 key ideas for free!

Summary & Review

Final Summary: Come Together by Emily Nagoski provides a comprehensive look at how to create and sustain a lasting sexual connection in long-term relationships.

Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski is a New York Times bestselling, award-winning author with an MS in counseling and a PhD in health behavior from Indiana University. She combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She resides in Massachusetts with her pets and a cartoonist.


Is Your Domain Name at Risk?

90% of domains are vulnerable to email fraud and spoofing. Cybercriminals can send emails as you, even if you don't. DMARC stops this.

Check DMARC Now
check is instant and free

Find all the book summaries

Quality book summaries

The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs by Esther Perel explores the complexities of infidelity in modern relationships. Perel delves into the psychological dimensions of affairs, offering a compassionate and nuanced perspective on this often-taboo subject.

Das Recht auf Sex

Das Recht auf Sex erforscht die Politik und Ethik des Sex in der heutigen Gesellschaft, taucht ein in Themen wie Zustimmung, Verlangen und sexuelle Befreiung, während es aus feministischen Traditionen schöpft und aktuelle sexuelle Normen kritisiert.

Goodbye Herzschmerz

"Goodbye Herzschmerz" ist ein Ratgeber von Elena-Katharina Sohn, der Strategien und Übungen bietet, um mit Liebeskummer umzugehen und ihn zu überwinden.

The Enlightened Sex Manual

In this groundbreaking manual, David Deida presents skills for achieving a deeper level of intimate embrace. Transforming simple 'skin friction' into a more profound spiritual and emotional connection, and exploring various forms of orgasm, the book shares insights into sexuality and spirituality that individuals and couples of all orientations can utilise to enrich their love lives.

Period Repair Manual

"Period Repair Manual" is a comprehensive guide to understanding and improving menstrual health. It provides insights into hormonal balance, the importance of regular periods, potential issues and their solutions, and encourages women to view their menstrual cycle as an essential part of their overall health.

The Art of Seduction

"The Art of Seduction" is a guidebook by Robert Greene that explores the tactics, strategies, and skills involved in seduction, both in personal relationships and in broader social contexts.